Ahhh, your first kiss. A moment that stays with you forever. Whether awkward, embarrassing, funny, glorious, or on the playground when you were four—it belongs to you. And before it happened you probably had a secret longing that it would be the most romantic moment of your life. Am I right?
I remember being in eighth grade and a couple girls at lunch were talking about who their first kiss was with. When it was my turn to share, I told them I haven’t yet. Sure enough, they laughed and told me I should have lied. They even offered some advice, like, I should “get it over with this weekend” or the next time I’m asked this I should say “it was with my brother’s friend from out of state or something.” I wasn’t schooled in virtue yet, but I knew that sign of affection wasn’t something I wanted to do just to be included in lunch table conversation.
And in that moment, if you were to tell me that my first kiss would be when I was twenty years old, I probably would have chosen to get it over with that weekend. To think I would wait that long for something I desired to experience is absurd. Nevertheless, I have no regrets and saved it for a great guy.
Any of your kisses, not just your first, could have been done out of impatience, wanting to “get it over with,” spin the bottle, or maybe it a decision rooted in immaturity. Judge free zone here–regardless of your motive for your kisses in the past, I invite you to ponder the depths of what a kiss really is.
Some people think it’s some sort of litmus test for a relationship or a confirmation that someone truly likes you (aren’t we all smart enough to know how false this is?) I even once read an article that said “sometimes you have to dump a person because the first kiss is awkward.” This left me heartbroken and uneasy. The article later wrote that physical intimacy is crucial in order to determine “real” attraction towards a person.
These are the same lies told that tell us the value of a relationship comes from the quality of pleasure during sexual intimacy. This advice is not a test of a “quality” relationship, or a good mate, this is called instant gratification. And even worse, such motives rob another person of experiencing something we are all designed for; real love.
Truth is—and this may be hard to contemplate in a sexual culture—authentic love does not come when body’s meet.
A kiss is such a deep symbol of affection and love. When your lips align themselves with another person, you are—without verbally saying it—giving part of yourself to that person. It is a sign of the affection, admiration, and attraction you have towards another person.
The affection of a kiss on the cheek, or a smooch from a little child is one filled with awe and tender empathy. Likewise, when you’ve given a kiss to a little child, it was an act rooted in protection, affection, and care for their well-being. And how about those protective, respectful kisses on the forehead and sweet kisses on the cheek–so special!
This is the soul enriching desire we are meant to experience with a kiss.
When our motives for kisses are not rooted in such inspiration, we fall prey to impulses and [unknowingly] fall for societal –media influenced—lies of what a kiss should be. Since kissing is so good, it’s in our nature to want it. Even further, we are capable of bringing sin into this desire.
Recognizing where and when to draw the line and sticking to that (especially when it’s so hard) leads to an appreciation for purity, a purer life, a deep sense of value for another persons worth, and makes your will stronger. Ultimately, and more importantly, it guards your heart and protects the symbolic beauty of affection.
Chastity requires a ton of self-control—self-control that does not comes easy—and it must start with a courageous decision to want to live in this truth so ponder the depths of a kiss and why it should mean more. If your past isn’t so “positively pure,” please don’t fret or think this article is out to “get you.” Because everyone, at some point in life, finds a man or woman who shows them how cherishable a kiss should be– so thank God for that person–and rejoice in being able to experience that bliss with him/her.
Save those lips for those who know your worth, for those who lift you up, and for the courage to uphold the awesomeness that kissing truly is.