The Catholic Church’s stance on sex should “get with the times”

I’m exasperated with this institution’s decision to restrict my freedom. Saying no to something so great totally robs our hearts of that intimacy we long for, right? Is this “no” to sex outside of marriage some manipulative game to shield our desires and make us prudes who have no fun?

Here’s what the church has to say:

If you’re striving, and you’ve thought “how far is too far,” the commandment to refrain is NOT trying to ban you from everything you want to do, but to simply ensure you; you were made to experience this great act in it’s totality.

They believe that this great act [sex], by God’s plan, is what seals a marriage. It speaks about the value, sacredness, and glory that God has planned for such a sacrament. It shows that He wanted to bring two people together in love—so exclusively–that they get to share in an act together that is blissful, sacred, holy, bountiful, and specific to them and their love.

They call marriage a sacrament. Claiming it makes you holier and can even heal you. They tell us to contemplate the fact that God WANTS to bless you with a spouse who compliments you and is your partner to sainthood.

“Marriage is a domestic church—an act of the will that signifies a mutual gift, which unites the spouses and binds them to their eventual souls.” –JPII

That Jesus’ body, through the crucifixion, speaks a total self-donation rooted in love. He did it freely, totally, faithfully, and fruitfully.

Free—no one forces you to do this, you choose to. [John 10:18]

Totally—how much is total? Total holds NOTHING back. [John 13:1]

Faithfully—‘till death do us part. [Mt 28:20]

Fruitfully—life-giving. The way I love my spouse brings him/her life. AND [obviously] the most fruitful, babies! [John 10:10]

They call the bed an altar, and spouses have their own altar of the last supper. That means each time the act is done on this “altar” they are proclaiming Christ’s famous line, “this is my body, given up for you.”

“through gestures and reactions, through the tension and enjoyment, the body in its action and interaction—allows the person to speak and expresses themselves in the fullest and most profound way possible.” –John Paul II

The church assures people that this act is prophetic—it is sacred, and holy. (Thanks for not letting us see that, pornography..). It should glorify God and bring two people into a foreshadow of God’s ecstasy which is love. This union of two bodies and souls is one that represents, on Earth, the euphoria of the marriage we will one day have with God in Heaven.


Sex isn’t a test drive, a litmus test, or “no big deal?” To them, it’s the biggest of all deals and spouses are called to experience this act together as a way to grow deeper in love and to do it [even virtuously] until death do them part…Sex, to Catholics, is a language spoken by way of the body and this “body language” says, “I am yours and in this act I give to you all that I am—body, mind, heart, and soul.”


They write about how pure, sensual pleasure is this deep desire, appreciation, care, and respect for the value of a person. Its a longing to be close with someone because when words alone are not enough, you have to show it with your body–An “entering” into the mystery of another person and a pathway to love one person uniquely and exclusively.

They say that the anticipation of waiting for sex creates great appreciation and satisfaction in your sex life.

Well, jeez, who would ever want this?

*If you didn’t catch the sarcasm, here’s the profession*

If your honest with yourself and you truly long for what is said above, and you yearn for marriage, or maybe have met someone who stirs this kind of desire in you, let Christ purify you and lead you to this.

This is NOT something that is experienced over night, so the step you need to take to strive on obtaining this great plan for sexual intimacy is to get to know Christ. [PS- it takes a lifetime to get to know someone]

Talk, walk, ponder, receive the Eucharist, and pray about this. And when it starts to click, and God’s will is marriage, ask Him to send someone into your life who will also want this.

So forget the list of rules, and the“do’s” and “don’ts” the church makes you think because it breeds a minimalist view. That view shields our minds and stops us from opening the depths of our hearts because sometimes “rules” neglect to show that the point of following Christ is to stand for glorious habits that are worth more. Life with Christ should enliven everything we do (even sexual intimacy) not fear us away from what God says is good in His ways, or incline us to fear failing or feeling guilty.

So no, the Catholic Church shouldn’t get with the times because if it does, than it has stopped offering the human heart the most glorious plan for sexual intimacy ever offered. Instead, maybe culture should rid the pornified media and get to know the depths of this awesome act that God created.

“It’s not that the world glorifies sex, it’s that the world fails to see its glory.” –Jason Evert

Further reading:
O Happy Fault! -Bobby Angel
Good News About Sex & Marriage –Christopher West 
Love and Responsibility–John Paul II
Theology of the Body–John Paul II 




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